Make up and practise short dialogues or stories using the essential vocabulary.
8. Review the essential vocabulary and translate the following sentences into English:
1. Мальчик переминался с ноги налогу, не зная, как ответить на вопрос. 2. С вами бесполезно спорить, вы все время меняете свою позицию. 5. Не пытайтесь переложить вину на меня, вы сами во всем виноваты. 4. Когда Лиззи узнала, что ее приняли в университет, она была в таком приподнятом настроении, что бежала всю дорогу домой, чтобы скорее сообщить об этом матери. 5. Не надо заострять внимание на проступке ребенка. 6. Почему вы уклонились от прямого ответа на мой вопрос? 7. Мистера Брауна посадили в тюрьму за неуплату налогов. 8. Его поведение на суде укрепило мои подозрения. 9. Договор будет ратифицирован после встречи на высшем уровне. 10. У него всегда есть про запас всякие смешные истории и анекдоты. 11. В начале конкурса жюри не возлагало больших на-
дежд на конкурсанта, но он занял первое место. 12. Он имел подход к детям. 13. Мартин хорошо разбирался в обстановке и знал, чего ждать от будущего. 14. Не поддавайтесь отчаянию, все образуется. 15. Вы упустили самое существенное.
9. a) Give the Russian equivalents for the following English proverbs:
1. When children stand quiet they have done some ill.
2. He that cannot obey cannot command.
3. Where there is a will there is a way.
B) Explain in English the meaning of each proverb.
C) Make up a dialogue to illustrate one of the proverbs.
CONVERSATION AND DISCUSSION
DIFFICULT CHILDREN
TOPICAL VOCABULARY
1. A happy child is:
a) kind-hearted, good-natured, loving, friendly, affectionate; confident, balanced, secure; getting along (comfortably) with others; gregarious: sociable, communicative; outgoing; unselfish; hard-working, industrious; self-disciplined, self-possessed
b) alert, motivated; conscientious, active, persevering; enthusiastic; polite, courteous; considerate, thoughtful; helpfully able to cope with difficulties, problems.
2. An unhappy problem child is:
a) obedient, prone to obey, submissive; disciplined, repressed; depressed, distressed; mixed-up, confused, frustrated; disturbed; neglected; self-centered; unsociable, lonely; timid, shy, fearful, sulky; indifferent, impersonal, listless; irresponsive, insensitive; hurt; humiliated; stubborn; uninterested, un-motivated, dull, inactive, bored; unable to cope with difficulties
b) irritable, annoyed, anxious; restless, naughty, wilful; inconsistent, impulsive; undisciplined, unruly, misbehaving, disobedient; resentful, arrogant, insolent, impudent; inconsiderate, intolerant, disrespectful; unrestrained; destructive, bel-
ligerent; rude, rough, coarse, offensive; wrong-doing, delinquent, unable to cope with difficulties, problems.
3. A happy parent is:
loving, caring, affectionate; kind, kind-hearted, good-natured, friendly, approving, reassuring; responsive, thoughtful, considerate, understanding; sensitive, sympathetic; sensible, reasonable; self-restrained; patient, tolerant; open, outgoing; firm, consistent; just.
4. An unhappy difficult parent is:
a) impulsive; indulging, pampering, babying; unreasonable; selfish, self-indulging, self-interested; self-willed, wilful; inconsistent; partial; sentimental; permissive
b) loveless, indifferent, impersonal; insensitive, disapproving; unjust, unfair; impatient, intolerant; insensible, unreasonable, unwise; inconsistent; nagging, fussy; cold, hard, harsh, cruel; bullying, aggressive, destructive, violent; repressing, demanding, restraining; moralizing; uncompromising, tough.
The Difficult Child
The difficult child is the child who is unhappy. He is at war with himself, and in consequence, he is at war with the world. A difficult child is nearly always made difficult by wrong treatment at home.
The moulded,1 conditioned, disciplined, repressed child — the unfree child, whose name is a Legion, lives in every corner of the world. He lives in our town just across the street, he sits at a dull desk in a dull school, and later he sits at a duller desk in an office or on a factory bench. He is docile, prone to obey authority, fearful of criticism, and almost fanatical in his desire to be conventional and correct. He accepts what he has been taught almost without question; and he hands down all his complexes and fears and frustrations to his children.
Adults take it for granted that a child should be taught to behave in such a way that the adults will have as quiet a life as possible. Hence the importance attached to obedience, to manner, to docility.
__________
1 People who use this argument do not realize that they start with an unfounded, unproved assumption — the assumption that a child will not grow or develop unless forced to do so.
The usual argument against freedom for children is this: life is hard, and we must train the children so that they will fit into life later on. We must therefore discipline them. If we allow them to do what they like, how will they ever be able to serve under a boss? How will they ever be able to exercise self-discipline?
To impose anything by authority is wrong. Obedience must come from within — not be imposed from without.
The problem child is the child who is pressured into obedience and persuaded through fear.
Fear can be a terrible thing in a child's life. Fear must be entirely eliminated — fear of adults, fear of punishment, fear of disapproval. Only hate can flourish in the atmosphere of fear.
The happiest homes are those in which the parents are frankly honest with their children without moralizing. Fear does not enter these homes. Father and son are pals. Love can thrive. In other homes love is crushed by fear. Pretentious dignity and demanded respect hold love aloof. Compelled respect always implies fear.
The happiness and well-being of children depend on a degree of love and approval we give them. We must be on the child's side. Being on the side of the child is giving love to the child — not possessive love — not sentimental love — just behaving to the child in such a way the child feels you love him and approve of him.
Home plays many parts in the life of the growing child, it is the natural source of affection, the place where he can live with the sense of security; it educates him in all sorts of ways, provides him with his opportunities of recreation, it affects his status in society.
Children need affection. Of all the functions of the family that of providing an affectionate background for childhood and adolescence has never been more important than it is today.
Child study has enabled us to see how necessary affection is in ensuring proper emotional development; and the stresses and strains of growing up in modern urban society have the effect of intensifying the yearning for parental regard.
The childhood spent with heartless, indifferent or quarrelsome parents or in a broken home makes a child permanently embittered. Nothing can compensate for lack of parental affection. When the home is a loveless one, the children are impersonal and even hostile.
Approaching adolescence children become more independent of their parents. They are now more concerned with what other kids say or do. They go on loving their parents deeply underneath, but they don't show it on the surface. They no longer want to be loved as a possession or as an appealing child. They are gaining a sense of dignity as individuals, and they like to be treated as such. They develop a stronger sense of responsibility about matters that they think are important.
From their need to be less dependent on their parents, they turn more to trusted adults outside the family for ideas and knowledge.
hi adolescence aggressive feelings become much stronger, hi this period, children will play an earnest game of war. There may be arguments, roughhousing and even real fights! Is gunplay good or bad for children?
For many years educators emphasized its harmlessness, even when thoughtful parents expressed doubt about letting their children have pistols and other warlike toys. It was assumed that in the course of growing up children have a natural tendency to bring their aggressiveness more and more under control.
But nowadays educators and physicians would give parents more encouragement in their inclination to guide children away from violence of any kind, from violence of gun-play and from violence on screen.
The world famous Dr. Benjamin Spock has this to say in the new edition of his book for parents about child care:
"Many evidences made me think that Americans have often been tolerant of harshness, lawlessness and violence, as well as of brutality on screen. Some children can only partly distinguish between dramas and reality. I believe that parents should flatly forbid proprams that go in for violence. I also believe that parents should firmly stop children's war-play or any other kind of play that degenerates into deliberate cruelty or meanness. One can't be permissive about such things. To me it seems very clear that we should bring up the next generation with a greater respect for law and for other people's rights."
1. As you read the text: a) Look for the answers to the following questions:
1. What makes a child unhappy? 2. Why do you think, a child who, according to the text "sits at a dull desk at school"
will later sit "at a duller desk in his office"? What is implied here? 3. Why do many adults attach such importance to obedience? Is it really in the child's interests? 4. What are the usual arguments put forward against giving more freedom to the child? Are the arguments well-founded? 5. Why is it wrong to pres-; sure a child into obedience? 6. What kinds of fear does a child experience? 7. What kind of atmosphere is necessary for child's proper emotional development? 8. What new traits and habits emerge in adolescence? 9. How and why did Dr Spock's attitude change regarding the adolescents' games of war? 10. Why is it so dangerous for children to be exposed to violence? 11. How should the new generation be brought up?
b) Summarize the text in three paragraphs specifying the following themes:
1. The prime importance of home in the upbringing of children. 2. The negative and harmful role of fears in a child's life. 3. The impact of aggressive gun-play on children's character.
2. Use the topical vocabulary in answering the following questions:
1. What traits of character would you name as typical for a normal happy child? Consider the following points with regard to his attitudes to: a) his family, parents; b) the school, teachers, studies, rules and regulations; c) his classmates; d) his friends.
2. What traits of character would you consider prominent in a difficult child, a problem child? Consider the points given above. 3. What traits of character are brought about by excessively harsh discipline and pressure? 4. What traits of character would be brought about by lack of discipline and control, by pampering or permissiveness? 5. How would you describe a good parent? 6. What traits of a parent would you consider most favourable for a child? 7. What are the dangerous symptoms of a problem child? 8. What kind of parents' attitude may make a child irresponsive, and unable to cope with difficulties? 9. Under what circumstances would a child grow confident, self-possessed, able to cope with difficulties?
3. Below are the statements expressing different opinions. Imagine that you are expressing these opinions, try to make them sound convincing:
I. The parents' permissiveness breeds contempt in children. 2. The child is born selfish and he will need the best part of-his life to get over it. 3. Popularity and success in" life seldom come to totally self-centered people. 4. Enjoying things is essential to a child's development. 5. True enjoyment comes mostly from using skills for real achievement. 6. Enjoyment may come not only from personal experience but also from passive enjoyment.
4. Read the text:
The Bell Family Charter
Homework: All members of the family must do an equal share of the housework according to age and ability. A list of duties will be put up each week.
Free Time: Children and parents have an equal right to free time.
Visitors: Children have a right to bring friends home whenever they like.
Bedtime: Bedtime will be fixed according to age. Children of 15 may go to bed when they like.
Rules for parents: Parents must not break promises. Parents must not cancel plans suddenly. Parents must not criticize their children in public.
N.B. Parents are not always right.
a) What is your opinion of the charter?
b) What does it imply?
c) Do you agree or dsiagree with the following statements? What are the arguments for and against each one?
1. Boys should do so much work as girls. 2. Small children should be given jobs too. 3. Children should be given as much free time as adults. 4. Parents must not do anything to upset their children.
d) Talk it over:
1. What duties do parents have that children don't? 2. How will you bring up your children?
5. Team up with your partner and discuss the following rules for parents. Extend on the items given below:
1. Take a good look at yourself; consciously or unconsciously children pattern themselves on their parents. If you have certain traits you don't want your children to inherit, make a constant effort to get rid of these qualities. In other words, one of the most effective ways to child control is self-control.
2. Be relaxed. If you are ill at ease with children, they know it and become uneasy themselves. Children are very sensitive to tension.
3. Assert your authority. From the beginning try to make it clear to the children that while you love them and make any reasonable sacrifices for them, they are not rulers and have limited privileges and definite obligations.
4. Don't expect miracles. The rule is particularly important in trying to cope with children. It is both unfair and unwise to expect miracles in dealing with children. Unfair, because very often they simply haven't reached that level of achievement yet. And unwise because if you constantly demand more than a child can give, you damage his confidence and may even end by making him doubt his value as a human being. Modern children grow physically and mentally very fast. But their rate of emotional growth is the same as it always was.
5. Be consistent. Few things upset a child more than indecisive and erratic treatment from two people who represent law and order and stability in his world — his parents.
(From: "The Secret World of Kids" by A. Ldnkletter)
6. Work in pairs or in small groups. Discuss problems of child upbringing outlined in the extracts below:
1. Timidity is another common personal defect in children. A reasonable amount of timidity is normal enough. But some children are more fearful than others. Don't force the child to face his fears! Most children outgrow their timidity.
2. Selfishness. Many parents complain that their children are self-centered, never think of anyone but themselves. Have no sense of responsibility. Won't share things and so on... Selfishness is often prolonged in kids by parents who tend to make slaves of themselves for the children's benefit.
3. It is high time to stop being permissive to children. It is urgent to change your attitude and learn to take a stand and be tough in your love.
7. Work in groups of three or four. Decide which of the following statements you agree or disagree with. Discuss these with the other members of your group. Be ready to report your discussion to other groups:
1. There's never a problem child, there are only problem parents. 2. Anyone who expects quick results in child upbringing is an incurable optimist. 3. Under dictatorial control adolescents work submissively, show little initiative. 4. Happiness may be defined as the state of minimal repression. 5. Healthy children do not fear the future, they anticipate it gladly. 6. The adults who fear that youth will be corrupted by freedom are those who are corrupt themselves.
8. The text below is an extract from a TV discussion on a burning problem of today "Horror Firms and Children" — a matter of great concern to many people in the world:
Guests participating in the discussion use expressions that convey respect to one another, and though at times they completely disagree with something they remain tactful and do not let the discussion degenerate into quarrelling.
Read the text. The expressions in bold type show how people react to opinion. Note them down:
TV Host: What were you saying?
Woman: I was saying that in my view, and I'd like to emphasize it, kids today got used to all kinds of violence. We scared much easier in my daysr
Teacher: Exactly. My personal opinion is that it goes even further than that. The children can take so much more violence now and unfortunately not even think about it.
Man: True. They even laugh at scenes which horrified us.
Psychiatrist:Don't you think that documentaries about war and hostilities showing awful violence may have something to do with that?
Film director: I'm not sure you are right about it! I would find it difficult to link violence to documentaries.
Art critic: As for me, I can certainly give the idea my backing. The young people are easily affected by violence on screen.
Woman: You have my whole support!Cartoons and TV films have become so much worse. There is an awful lot of violence and horror everywhere.
TV Host: The question is whetherwe have a community in Hollywood which goes for a young audience with their horror films in a gross and socially harmful way.
Art critic: Imust say I can see no reason to oppose.
Psychiatrist: But Walt Disney had a lot of horror in his films which also scared kids, things like kids turned into donkeys in "Pinnoccio".
Woman: Coming from you... I can't believe it! As far as I am able to judge"Pinnoccio" bears no relation to horror films.
Teacher: You are quite right!Disney has done so much good for the children!
TV Host: Do we have in this greedy arena of film-making to rely too much on effect, illusion, technology which can make horrors beyond imagination, such as visualization of a man blown up, a man decapitated in front of your eyes?
Film director: Iam inclined to thinkthat kids are looking for fantasies, aren't they? And we are giving them to kids. All the samethey are having horror in their minds.
Man: Here I differ with you!The visualization of horror deadens children's souls. That's what Is so dangerous about it!
TV Host: What kind of grown-ups our kids are going to be if today they are already used to all kinds of film horrors and are not terrified by the awful sights and especially human suffering!
9. When reacting to opinion we may state our agreement, approval as well as complete solidarity with what has been said, or we may express only a partial agreement. One may be straightforward in stating his view, or cautious, or even evasive. Here are some comments that may be used to express one's positive response:
Right; You are quite right; True; Exactly; I am all out for it; I am in favor of it. You have my full support; I am giving it my backing; I can see no reason to oppose.
When stating our negative response or partial disagreement we can use the following:
I am afraid not; No, you are not right here; I can't approve it (accept); No, it bears no relation to; I would find it difficult to (accept it).
The following phrases may be used to introduce either agreement or disagreement:
My personal opinion is; I am inclined to think that; It goes further than that; That's one way of looking at it, but....
a) From the dialogue above (Ex. 8) make up a list of phrases expressing response to opinion differentiating between 1) agreement and disagreement; 2) phrases worded in a straightforward way and those worded in a less categorical, polite way.