They all got out at the same station, and Mr Edwards drove Mr Wilson home in his car.

1.09.11 (1)

Harry Marsh was a driving examiner who had to test people who wanted to get a driving-license. One day he came out of his office as usual and saw a car at the side of the road, with a young man in it. He got into the car beside the driver and told him to check the lights, then breaks and then all the other usual things. The driver performed everything promptly and faultlessly, without saying a word.

The Harry told the driver to start his engine and drive forward. Then he told him to turn right into a side road, stop, go backwards into another side road and then drive to the office again. On the way, the driver said to Harry politely, "Could you please tell me why we are doing all these things? I was passing through this town and only stopped to look at my map."

8.09.11 (2)

George was a newspaper reporter who worked for a small local newspaper in a country town. Nothing much ever happened there. One day George's boss sent for him.

"George" he said, "James Bright is making a speech at the Town Hall tonight. I want you to go and report on it for us."

"James Bright ?" said George. "He's a terrible old fool. He never says anything worth reporting." "Bright is our best-known local politician," said the boss. "We'll have to print a report on that speech."

So George went to the meeting and Bright spoke for two hours without stopping. When George got back to the office at last, the boss was waiting for him.

"Well, George," he said. "What did the old man say ?" "Absolutely nothing," said George.

The boss wasn't surprised. "All right, George," he said. "You'd better not write more than two and a half columns on it.

15.09.11 (3)

Many years ago an English lady in Africa was invited by an important local chief to be the first person to use his new bath-the first one in that part of Africa.

The lady went into the bath-house, turned on the taps and got into the nice, warm water. But when she looked up, she was frightened to see an eye watching her through a hole. She got out, dressed and ran outside. She saw and old man and a donkey there. He was carrying a petrol tin of hot water in one hand, and one of cold water in the other, and in front of him were two funnels.

"Why were you watching me in my bath ?" the lady asked him angrily.

The man answered politely, "I have to see which tap you turn on, madam, or I don't know whether to pour in hot or cold water."

22.09.11 (4)

Mr Edwards and Mr Wilson were friends. They were sitting in a train when another man came in. There was going to be an election soon, and Mr Edwards and Mr Wilson began talking about politics. Mr Edwards supported the Labour Party strongly.

Suddenly the third man began to argue with Mr Edwards. He supported the Conservatives.

They argued for a long time, and then Mr Edwards said, "Well, I can't make you change your mind, and you can't make me change mine, so let's have an agreement : I won't vote for the Labour Party, and you won't vote for the Conservative Party. Then we'll be able to stay at home comfortably, and nobody will lose anything." The other man agreed.

They all got out at the same station, and Mr Edwards drove Mr Wilson home in his car.

"That's the fifteenth person I've made that agreement with," he said to him.

29.09.11 (5)

Some people were queuing outside the Scala Theater for tickets for a very popular show. They had to wait for several hours, and during that time they were entertained by a young man who was playing very nicely on a trumpet. The queue enjoyed his music and put quite lot of money in the box that he had o the ground in front of him.
At last one of the people in the queue said to him 'You play too well to be a beggar.'
'I'm not a beggar,' the young man said. 'I'm studying to be a trumpet player in a big band, and have to practiSE (именно 's') several hours every day, so I thought it would be nice to do it in the fresh air instead of in my small room on days when the weather was nice-and also to get a bit of money at the same time.'

6.10.11 (6)

Mr Richards worked in a shop which sold, cleaned and repaired hearing-aids. One day an old gentleman entered and put one down in front of him withou saying a word.
'What's the matter with it?' Mr Richards said. The man did not answer. Of course Mr Richards thought that the man must be deaf and that his hearing-aid must be faulty, so he said again, more loudly, 'What's wrong with your hearing-aid, sir?' Again the man said nothing, so Mr Richards shouted his question again as loudly as he could.
The man then took a pen and a piece of paper and wrote: 'It isn't necessary to shout when you're speaking to me. My ears are as good as yours. This hearing-aid is my wife's, not mine. I've just had a throat operation, and my problem is not that I can't hear, but that I can't speak.'

13.10.11 (7)