I would like to provide a chronology giving the events leading up to this decision

 

As a university student I spent a year abroad in France and Germany and in Paris. I met a German university graduate whom I later married. We eventually returned to Germany to live after we finished our studies in the U.S. (I did my B.A. and he did a postgraduate degree in international business). A few years later we were divorced in Munich, Germany. I then became a graduate student and teacher, and resided for almost 10 years in what was then West Berlin, Germany. There was nothing unusual in my life until the year 1983. At that time I co-taught a parapsychology course in the Community College system of West Berlin. A friend attended this class and brought a guest. The guest whom I will call "C.L." and I became friends later. Through these people I got to know some other new acquaintances and whether these people are incidental to, or pivotal figures in what later transpired is something that I can only speculate about. However, a certain pattern would appear to emerge from this.

 

One of the people I got to know casually was Peggy Woolsey who had worked as secretary to Richard Helms, former head of the CIA in Iran (He was there during the coup). Peggy would often tell me about her life in Iran. Once when I was in her apartment having a drink I discovered at least a inch of sediment on the bottom of my drink. I commented on this and was told it was the "Berlin water." Another time I went to East Berlin in her car with diplomatic plates and felt a strange mood of paranoia almost as if I was hallucinating. I remember Peggy asking me where the Russian embassy was. I remember thinking, "How should I know?" In fact, I was at that time so naive I had not realized there was a Russian embassy in West Berlin. I had crossed the border previously primarily to go to the opera or theater or to buy books (German literature classics in cheap editions). I had the impression that something strange was transpiring. It was during this time that I was on three occasions, at three different locations, talked to during my sleep by people I was acquainted with. On these occasions I had awakened abruptly during my sleep and became aware of what was transpiring. I went to the U.S. consulate and named names. After this I was harassed by a man in a white car who would drive by my apartment and when in close proximity, would zap me with an electrical field of some sort. He was very brazen. I would find my body pulsating during my sleep especially at the base of my spine, but my whole body would vibrate as well and I would see flashing lights on my wall. I had to go to the U.S. Consulate several times and they expressed disbelief in what I was saying rudely stating: Who would be interested in you -- you have no important political or military contacts. Ultimately they advised me to return to the U.S. and change my name. In despair I contacted a secret service in Berlin and was treated with consideration and respect at least. Ultimately I decided to return to the U.S. where I thought I would be able to live a normal life. I think back to those innocent days when I was merely being harassed by parties unknown in no way suspecting what would be in store for me when I returned to a living hell and unbelievable torture, abuse, and experimentation.

 

In retrospect the only conclusion that makes reasonable sense is that I must have exposed a CIA operation. I was then classified as a "write-off" or expendable as a human being. By some unfortunate decision I was designated for a constant monitoring, inhuman method of electronic incarceration utilizing intra-cerebral microwave induction of voices. This is one of several sadistic approaches they have used to destroy my life. So for 13 years now I have never known one moment of privacy, or peace. My entire life has been stolen from me. My apartment serves them as the cage of a guinea pig.

 

What they attempted to do with very crude, unsophisticated human input (not to say criminal and immoral) coupled with an electronic technology totally unknown to the public was to set up some artificial controls (or "handlers") utilizing voice and emotive responses of some individuals

recognizable to me and get them to "control" my behavior by the use of positive and negative reinforcement. These were not "voices" talking to me live but were a whole catalog of reactions that were activated in my brain by some means. For example if I did something they did not like they would use the voice characteristics of "C." crying or whining or expressing despair. Thus the same expression would be played over and over again like canned laughter on a TV quiz program. I might hear the same emotive phrase played over 5 times in one day however absurd that may seem. When they realized that I was not being hoodwinked or deceived into thinking that this was a real person (and naturally they selected the voices of former lovers) they did not attempt to project this artifice but instead would harass me with the voices. Often I was interrupted at what I was doing at the rate of once a minute throughout the day. At other times it was once every 4 minutes. At other times every time I made a decision, drew a conclusion from something, or followed instructions it was reinforced. The implication being that these swine were in charge of my behavior and thinking. This reaches the point of fanatic absurdity on their part. And it still continues even as I type this. They are constantly trying to reinforce or keep in place their repulsive "program."

 

Here are some examples: Through a business contact I got to know "S." and every time I met with her it was euphorically reinforced. This was something I could not fathom. I would think why is not my friendships with V., E.J., or others reinforced like this. It did not make sense to me as S. was a rather unsophisticated but warm-hearted Iranian hairdresser. Later I discovered that under the Shah, S. had been married to a Judge, connected in high places, had hidden people in her home and had had to flee when her husband was arrested. I think that one of the things they had planned to use was to start relationships with certain targeted individuals. They kept up a rabid campaign to get me to re-establish a contact with a foreign national who reputedly had intelligence contacts. I refused but they never stopped harassing me. They tried to establish a whole associational network of things supposedly characteristic of this person to constantly keep him in my mind which was revolting in the extreme. So I frequently formed the impression that I was constantly dealing with people who were my intellectual inferiors, ignorant provincials who were in a mad rush to use their high-tech equipment on any designated victim. The irony of all this pain and suffering was that the same things could have been achieved by very conventional and mundane methods. But this high-tech equipment was being used by individuals very unlike myself where I had a feeling I was being corrupted by the association, that I was being polluted by the contact and as a result I feel I have lost or had murdered my spirituality, my refinement, my dignity and privacy as a women, my idealism, my joy in living, my sexuality, my feelings of freedom, my comfort zone, i.e. all that had once been the essential ingredients of my life. Their sadism knows no bounds. They will talk with you and make it a point of letting you know that they are watching you while you are on the toilet, for example.