HOW TO NEGOTIATE AND HANDLE
CONFLICTS WITH FILIPINO
The Filipino is generally friendly, peace-loving and sociable fellow. He has a compromising character and is not inclined to confrontation.
When a Westerner’s personal rights are trampled upon, his first reactions is ordinarily to complain and fight back. The Filipino is surprised to see Westerners quarrel over disagreements on personal rights and afterwards become friends as if nothing happened at all. This is because the Filipino has been culturally brought up to value harmony. If a Filipino’s rights are trampled upon, he first uses the friendly way. He often makes his feelings known through the indirect or roundabout approach. For him to directly confront someone will have lasting wounds which no amoung of friendly reconciliation can heal. Only after the friendly means (pakikisama) are exhausted does he resort to violence (pakikibaka).
The Filipino desire for harmony does not mean the absence of actual conflict. Truly enough, for him violence or a direct confrontation is not the first step. However, if put to shame, the Filipino can turn violent. Any attempt at casting doubt upon or questioning a Filipino’s action, integrity and honor even if it is true can elicit vindictive reaction from him. One who publicly denounces a Filipino may only get worse results because he did not follow the cultural norm of first airing grievances privately and politely.
The average Westerner conducts his personal life and his maintenance of law and order on principles of right or wrong; the average Filipino, on sanctions of shame, dishonor, ridicule, or impropriety. The average westerner is forced to categorize his conduct in universal impersonal terms. The “law is the law” and right is right,” regardless of other considerations. The average Filipino takes the law from the concrete and personal angel. He has a shame culture and this factor greatly affects his behavior. A Filipino feels that saving his honor is more important that he truth. The Westerner’s passion for the truth no matter who is hurt is illustrated in exposing the misdeeds of the departed. But this is not the case for the Filipino. Any superior or official’s misdeeds are
Buried with him; his memory is honored for he has gone.
Take the case of the concept of justice. Justice for the Filipino is not something abstract. Being just is something concrete, visible; someone form whom you can elicit sympathy or pity. Justice is the judge, the officer, the superior. The ethics of justice for the Filipino is based on the value of harmony. Justice for Filipinos is not individualistic but communitarian. The Filipino’s concept of justice is “inner self-worth,’ not necessarily equality to all.
Negotiating with Filipinos requires a deep sense of respect for elders and for authority. It should be done with care and diplomacy in order not to hurt the “inner self-worth” of the Filipinos. The relationship of the negotiators should be a human relationship and possibly in a family atmosphere. Both negotiators should work together for the good of one another without any selfish motive of trying to outdo one another.
Steps in Filipino Negotiation
Intensive preparation for negotiation is essential since this is viewed as following an orderly logical psychological process.
Step One:“Magtapatan ng Loob” or be sure to prepare truthful facts. Both negotiating parties should tell truthfully what they think and feel.
Step Two: Magkagaangan ng loob” or develop a trusting relationship and atmosphere. Filipinos are persons who go along with persuasion. For example just by setting the negotiation on his or our birthday can be a propitious occasion for negotiation with a Filipino. A birthday is a venerable occasion in the Philippines. A Filipino is supposed to greet even his enemy on his birthday.
Step Three: “Makuha ang loob ng bawa’t isa” or harmonize your objectives and intentions with his objectives and intentions. Negotiating with Filipinos must be a win-win situation; an attempt to grant the greatest satisfaction to both parties within their established value range. It assumes an established range of values that are alternatives to both parties.
Fourth Stage: “magkapanatagan ng loob” or setting the terms of agreement and concentrating on what they are supposed to do. The essence of a good negotiation is making the best possible deal for both negotiating parties without crating long-running problems or injury to both of them. The negotiation must aim for a mutually beneficial deal. Each negotiating party must pout himself in the other person’s shoes. The emphasis must be on the fact that both parties involved are satisfied.
It is in the atmosphere of peace of mind that both parties can analyze issues and established common terms. The emotional climate must be conciliatory, emphatic and directed toward problem-solving. The attitudes and behavior of the negotiators must be trusting, supportive, relaxed, helpful, reasonable and creative. It is in this kind of atmosphere that a Filipino becomes reasonable, condescending and noble.
Fifth Stage: “Puspusang loob na tinutupad and pinag-usapan” or both parties wholeheartedly fulfill their obligations and live up to the duties and responsibilities or their agreement.
Negotiated accords allow the negotiating parties to be both stable in their own areas and flexible in details.
Negotiating with Filipinos demand a holistic approach. One should be logical and sensitive to emotions at the same time.