English Grammar through Stories. comedy. The play opens in a park

by Alan Townend

comedy. The play opens in a park. A couple are sitting on a bench and they are having an argument. He is trying to persuade her that he is right and she is doing her best to make him believe that he is wrong. It doesn't sound all that funny but the dialogue was so clever and the two performers are so obviously relishing their roles that the whole audience couldn't stop laughing. But then of course if you get bored with the play, you can always turn your attention to the audience. And with a season ticket you keep sitting next to the same people, which is how I got into trouble on the last night. You have to imagine it is 8 o'clock. Everyone is sitting quietly and waiting for the curtain to go up. The old lady in the next seat is adjusting her hearing aid. The fanfare is playing and then – nothing happens. Ten minutes go by. The audience is becoming distinctly uncomfortable. Comments like: 'What on earth is going on?' 'Are we seeing another play?' and 'Is anybody doing anything about it?' The fanfare is playing again. I get the impression that someone is tapping my knees but then I realise that it's the woman in front who is fidgeting. Again there is silence and then the curtains open at last to reveal a worried looking manager who is standing in the middle of the stage. 'Ladies and gentleman', he began 'I regret to tell you that the Sanderson Players are not performing tonight. There will now be a short intermission.' It was then I said to my elderly neighbour in I suppose a rather loud voice (but you must remember she is having a problem with her hearing): 'Thank goodness! That's one less to worry about.' At that the woman in front who I thought had been fidgeting and had in fact been crying, turned round and addressed me in a hysterical way: 'Do you know who you are talking to and who you are talking about?' I pleaded ignorant to both questions. 'They are my entire family – husband, son and two daughter and they are all suffering the other side of that curtain.' I was impressed with her delivery and thought what a performance she could give as a Shakespearean heroine. I made apologetic noises and decided not to probe further. The rest of the evening passed off without incident and the prizes were distributed.

So after the long week and the little bit of drama in row K I hope you can understand why I am now relaxing. I'm not attending next year's festival. I've decided. I'm doing something a little more dynamic like bungee jumping or white water rafting. Incidentally in case you are wondering what the woman in front was on about, I'll explain. The whole family in the Sanderson Players had begged mother not to come to the theatre because she always put them off. She had insisted on coming and so they had refused to perform. If you're wanting to know what the play was about, you must guess it from the title: Mother knows best.

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English Grammar through Stories

by Alan Townend

3. Future tense or «Jealousy»

There is a common belief that the only way to express the future in English is to use the two little modal auxiliaries «will» and «shall». Sure they play a major part in this function but there are other ways too of expressing the future. Below you will see 6 ways of expressing the future. I won't call it the «future tense» because that restricts your thinking about how to talk or write about something that is not now but next:

Going to

This way you can express a personal intention or make a prediction about what you know/feel/see as in these sentences:

I am going to stop smoking this year. The sea is going to be very rough this afternoon, so don't go swimming.

Future Simple

Back to «will» and «shall». With these two words plus the infinitive of a verb you can express: a future fact, a sudden decision, an offer, a threat, a promise, an opinion about the future, a probability especially after think, suppose, expect, doubt if.

Here are a few examples:

Tomorrow will be my birthday.

It's all right I'll get the shopping.

I will take you in the car if you like.

I'll stand by you whatever happens.

I suppose we'll manage without the car.

Present Continuous

This is almost the same as «going to« but it's not quite as personal. Look at this:

The Government is thinking about introducing a new law.

Present Simple

We use this when we are thinking of the certain future, something already arranged as in a timetable or programme: Your train leaves in ten minutes.

Is to/Are to

These are used to express an instruction or something arranged officially. Here is an example:

The finance ministers are to meet next month to discuss the crisis.

About to/Due to

We use these when we want to describe actions that are expected to happen, usually fairly soon. An example:

The 100 metre race is about to start any minute now.

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