Praise for Quidditch Through the Ages 3 страница

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scoring in Quidditch.

“We’re not burning them, don’t

exaggerate,” said an irritable-looking

Departmental representative last night

when asked to comment. “Baskets, as you

may have noticed, come in different sizes.

We have found it impossible to standardise

basket size so as to make goalposts

throughout Britain equal. Surely you can

see it’s a matter of fairness. I mean, there’s

a team up near Barnton, they’ve got these

minuscule little baskets attached to the

opposing team’s posts, you couldn’t get a

grape in them. And up their own end they’ve

got these great wicker caves swinging

around. It’s not on. We’ve settled on a fixed

hoop size and that’s it. Everything nice and

fair.”

At this point, the Departmental

representative was forced to retreat under a

hail of baskets thrown by the angry

demonstrators assembled in the hall.

Although the ensuing riot was later blamed

on goblin agitators, there can be no doubt

that Quidditch fans across Britain are

tonight mourning the end of the game as we

know it.

“ ’T won’t be t’ same wi’out baskets,” said

one apple-cheeked old wizard sadly. “I

remember when I were a lad, we used to set

fire to ’em for a laugh during t’ match. You

can’t do that with goal hoops. ’Alf t’ fun’s

gone.”

Daily Prophet, 12 February 1883

Balls

The Quaffle

As we know from Gertie Keddle’s diary, the Quaffle was

from earliest times made of leather. Alone of the four

Quidditch balls, the Quaffle was not originally enchanted,

but merely a patched leather ball, often with a strap (see

Fig. E), as it had to be caught and thrown one-handed.

Some old Quaffles have finger holes. With the discovery

of Gripping Charms in 1875, however, straps and finger

holes have become unnecessary, as the Chaser is able to

keep a one-handed hold on the charmed leather without

such aids.

The modern Quaffle is twelve inches in diameter and

seamless. It was first coloured scarlet in the winter of

1711, after a game when heavy rain had made it

indistinguishable from the muddy ground whenever it was

dropped. Chasers were also becoming increasingly

irritated by the necessity of diving continually towards the

ground to retrieve the Quaffle whenever they missed a

catch and so, shortly after the Quaffle’s change of colour,

the witch Daisy Pennifold had the idea of bewitching the

Quaffle so that if dropped, it would fall slowly earthwards

as though sinking through water, meaning that Chasers

could grab it in mid-air. The “Pennifold Quaffle” is still

used today.

The Bludgers

The first Bludgers (or “Blooders”) were, as we have seen,

flying rocks, and in Mumps’s time they had merely

progressed to rocks carved into the shape of balls. These

had one important disadvantage, however: They could be

cracked by the magically reinforced Beaters’ bats of the

fifteenth century, in which case all players would be

pursued by flying gravel for the remainder of the game.

It was probably for this reason that some Quidditch

teams began experimenting with metal Bludgers in the

early sixteenth century. Agatha Chubb, expert in ancient

wizarding artifacts, has identified no fewer than twelve

lead Bludgers dating from this period, discovered both in

Irish peat bogs and English marshes. “They are

undoubtedly Bludgers rather than cannon balls,” she

writes.

The faint indentations of magically reinforced Beaters’ bats

are visible and one can see the distinctive hallmarks of

manufacture by a wizard (as opposed to a Muggle) – the

smoothness of line, the perfect symmetry. A final clue was

the fact that each and every one of them whizzed around my

study and attempted to knock me to the floor when released

from its case.

Lead was eventually discovered to be too soft for the

purpose of Bludger manufacture (any indentation left on

a Bludger will affect its ability to fly straight). Nowadays

all Bludgers are made of iron. They are ten inches in

diameter.

Bludgers are bewitched to chase players in-

discriminately. If left to their own devices, they will attack

the player closest to them, hence the Beaters’ task is to

knock the Bludgers as far away from their own team as

possible.

The Golden Snitch

The Golden Snitch is walnut-sized, as was the Golden

Snidget. It is bewitched to evade capture as long as

possible. There is a tale that a Golden Snitch evaded

capture for six months on Bodmin Moor in 1884, both

teams finally giving up in disgust at their Seekers’ poor

performances. Cornish wizards familiar with the area

insist to this day that the Snitch is still living wild on the

moor, though I have not been able to confirm this story.

Players

The Keeper

The position of Keeper has certainly existed since the

thirteenth century (see Chapter Four), though the role

has changed since that time.

According to Zacharias Mumps, the Keeper

should be first to reach the goal baskets for it is his job to

prevent the Quaffle entering therein. The Keeper should

beware of straying too far towards the other end of the

pitch, in case his baskets come under threat in his absence.

However, a fast Keeper may be able to score a goal and then

return to his baskets in time to prevent the other team

equalising. It is a matter for the individual conscience of the

Keeper.

It is clear from this that in Mumps’s day the Keepers

performed like Chasers with extra responsibilities. They

were allowed to move all over the pitch and to score

goals.

By the time Quintius Umfraville wrote The Noble Sport

of Warlocks in 1620, however, the Keeper’s job had been

simplified. The scoring areas had now been added to the

pitch and the Keepers were advised to remain within

them, guarding their goal baskets, though Keepers may fly

out of this area in an attempt to intimidate opposing

Chasers or head them off early.

The Beaters

The duties of the Beaters have changed little through the

centuries and it is likely that Beaters have existed ever

since the introduction of the Bludgers. Their first duty is

to guard their team members from the Bludgers, which

they do with the aid of bats (once clubs, see Goodwin

Kneen’s letter in Chapter Three). Beaters have never been

goal-scorers, nor is there any indication that they have

handled the Quaffle.

Beaters need a good deal of physical strength to repel

the Bludgers. This is therefore the position that, more than

any other, has tended to be taken by wizards rather than

witches. Beaters also need to have an excellent sense of

balance, as it is sometimes necessary for them to take both

hands from their brooms for a double-handed assault on a

Bludger.

The Chasers

Chaser is the oldest position in Quidditch, for the game

once consisted wholly of goal-scoring. The Chasers throw

the Quaffle to each other and score ten points for every

time they get it through one of the goal hoops.

The only significant change in Chasing came about in

1884, one year after the substitution of goal hoops for

goal baskets. A new rule was introduced which stated that

only the Chaser carrying the Quaffle could enter the

scoring area. If more than one Chaser entered, the goal

would be disallowed. The rule was designed to outlaw

“stooging” (see “Fouls” below), a move by which two

Chasers would enter the scoring area and ram the Keeper

aside, leaving a goal hoop clear for the third Chaser.

Reaction to this new rule was reported in the Daily

Prophet of the time.

Our Chasers

Aren’t

Cheating!

That was the stunned reaction of Quidditch

fans across Britain last night when the so-

called “Stooging Penalty” was announced by

the Department of Magical Games and

Sports last night.

“Instances of stooging have been on the

increase,” said a harassed-looking Depart-

mental representative last night. “We feel

that this new rule will eliminate the severe

Keeper injuries we have been seeing only

too often. From now on, one Chaser will

attempt to beat the Keeper, as opposed to

three Chasers beating the Keeper up.

Everything will be much cleaner and fairer.”

At this point the Departmental rep-

resentative was forced to retreat as the

angry crowd started to bombard him with

Quaffles. Wizards from the Department of

Magical Law Enforcement arrived to

disperse the crowd, who were threatening to

stooge the Minister of Magic himself.

One freckle-faced six-year-old left the

hall in tears.

“I loved stooging,” he sobbed to the Daily

Prophet. “Me and me dad like watching

them Keepers flattened. I don’t want to go

to Quidditch no more.”

Daily Prophet, 22 June 1884

The Seeker

Usually the lightest and fastest fliers, Seekers need both a

sharp eye and the ability to fly one- or no-handed. Given

their immense importance in the overall outcome of the

match, for the capture of the Snitch so often snatches

victory from the jaws of defeat, Seekers are most likely to

be fouled by members of the opposition. Indeed, while

there is considerable glamour attached to the position of

Seeker, for they are traditionally the best fliers on the

pitch, they are usually the players who receive the worst

injuries. “Take out the Seeker” is the first rule in Brutus

Scrimgeour’s The Beaters’ Bible.

Rules

The following rules were set down by the Department of

Magical Games and Sports upon its formation in 1750:

1. Though there is no limit imposed on the height to

which a player may rise during the game, he or she must

not stray over the boundary lines of the pitch. Should a

player fly over the boundary, his or her team must

surrender the Quaffle to the opposing team.

2. The Captain of a team may call for “time out” by

signalling to the referee. This is the only time players’ feet

are allowed to touch the ground during a match. Time out

may be extended to a two-hour period if a game has lasted

more than twelve hours. Failure to return to the pitch

after two hours leads to the team’s disqualification.

3. The referee may award penalties against a team. The

Chaser taking the penalty will fly from the central circle

towards the scoring area. All players other than the

opposing Keeper must keep well back while the penalty is

taken.

4. The Quaffle may be taken from another player’s grasp

but under no circumstances must one player seize hold of

any part of another player’s anatomy.

5. In the case of injury, no substitution of players will take

place. The team will play on without the injured player.

6. Wands may be taken on to the pitch¹but must under no

circumstances whatsoever be used against opposing team

members, any opposing team member’s broom, the

referee, any of the balls, or any member of the crowd.

7. A game of Quidditch ends only when the Golden Snitch

has been caught, or by mutual consent of the two team

Captains.

Fouls

Rules are of course “made to be broken.” Seven hundred

Quidditch fouls are listed in the Department of Magical

Games and Sports records, and all of them are known to

have occurred during the final of the first ever World Cup

in 1473. The full list of these fouls, however, has never

been made available to the wizarding public. It is the

Department’s view that witches and wizards who see the

list “might get ideas.”

1. The right to carry a wand at all times was established by the International

Confederation of Wizards in 1692, when Muggle persecution was at its height

and the wizards were planning their retreat into hiding.

I was fortunate enough to gain access to the documents

relating to these fouls while researching this book and can

confirm that no public good can come of their

publication. Ninety percent of the fouls listed are, in any

case, impossible as long as the ban on using wands against

the opposing team is upheld (this ban was imposed in

1538). Of the remaining ten percent, it is safe to say that

most would not occur to even the dirtiest player; for

example, “setting fire to an opponent’s broom tail,”

“attacking an opponent’s broom with a club,” “attacking

an opponent with an axe.” This is not to say that modern

Quidditch players never break rules. Ten common fouls

are listed below. The correct Quidditch term for each foul

is given in the first column.

Name

Applies to Description

Blagging

Matching

Blurting

All players

Seizing opponent’s broom tail to slow or

hinder

Flying with intent to collide

Locking broom handles with a view to

steering opponent off course

Bumphing

Beaters only Hitting Bludger towards crowd,

necessitating a halt of the game as officials

rush to protect bystanders. Sometimes

used by unscrupulous players to prevent

an opposing Chaser scoring

Cobbing

All players

Excessive use of elbows towards

opponents

Flacking

Keeper only Sticking any portion of anatomy through

goal hoop to punch Quaffle out. The

Keeper is supposed to block the goal

hoop from the front rather than the rear

Haversacking Chasers only Hand still on Quaffle as it goes through

goal hoop (Quaffle must be thrown)

Quaffle-pocking Chasers only Tampering with Quaffle, e.g.,

puncturing it so that it falls more quickly

or zigzags

Snitchnip

All players but

Seeker

Any player other than Seeker touching or

catching the Golden Snitch

Stooging

Chasers only More than one Chaser entering the

scoring area

Referees

Refereeing a Quidditch match was once a task for only the

bravest witches and wizards. Zacharias Mumps tells us

that a Norfolk referee called Cyprian Youdle died during a

friendly match between local wizards in 1357. The

originator of the curse was never caught but is believed to

have been a member of the crowd. While there have been

no proven referee slayings since, there have been several

incidences of broom-tampering over the centuries, the

most dangerous being the transformation of the referee’s

broom into a Portkey, so that he or she is whisked away

from the match halfway through and turns up months

later in the Sahara Desert. The Department of Magical

Games and Sports has issued strict guidelines on the

security measures relating to players’ brooms and these

incidents are now, thankfully, extremely rare.

The effective Quidditch referee needs to be more than

an expert flier. He or she has to watch the antics of

fourteen players at once and the most common referee’s

injury is consequently neck strain. At professional

matches the referee is assisted by officials who stand

around the boundaries of the pitch and ensure that neither

players nor balls stray over the outer perimeter.

In Britain, Quidditch referees are selected by the

Department of Magical Games and Sports. They have to

take rigorous flying tests and an exacting written

examination on the rules of Quidditch and prove, through

a series of intensive trials, that they will not jinx or curse

offensive players even under severe pressure.

Chapter Seven

Quidditch Teams of Britain and

Ireland

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