II. Read the text for obtaining information. Getting on well with colleagues, as anyone who works in an office knows, is a vital element in our working lives
Getting on well with colleagues, as anyone who works in an office knows, is a vital element in our working lives. Many office jobs involve a great deal of time spent talking. One British study of 160 managers, for example, found that they spent between one third and 90 per cent of their time with other people.
“Working relationships”, write social psychologist Michael Argyle and Monika Henderson, “are first brought about by the formal system of work, but are elaborated in several ways by informal contacts of different kinds... It is essential for such relationships to develop if co-operation at work is to succeed.” And good relationships at work, research shows, are one of the main sources of job satisfaction and well-being.
Are there any “rules of relationships” that might be useful as general markers of what to do and what not to do in your dealings with others?
“Universal rules”:
Michael Argule and his collegues have found that there are such rules. Through interviews with people they generated a number of possible rules. Then they asked others to rate how important those rules were in twenty-two different kinds of relationships. These included relationships with spouses, close friends, siblings and work colleagues as well as relationships between work subordinates and their superiors.
The researchers discovered five ”universal” rules that applied to over half of all these relationships:
1. Respect the other’s privacy.
2. Look the other person in the eye during conversation.
3. Do not discuss what has been said in confidence with the other person.
4. Do not criticise the other person publicly.
5. Repay debts, favours or compliments no matter how small.
This doesn’t mean that nobody breaks these rules, as we all know- it just means that they are seen as important.
Work rules:
As well as these general guidelines for keeping good relationships, Argyle and his associates questioned people about rules that apply very specifically to work settings. In addition to the “universal” rules they came up with the nine “rules for coworkers”:
1. Accept one’s fair share of the workload.
2. Be cooperative with regard to the shared physical working conditions (e.g. light, temperature, noise).
3. Be willing to help when requested.
4. Work cooperatively despite feelings of dislike.
5. Don’t denigrate co-workers to superiors.
6. Address the co-workers by first name.
7. Ask for help and advice when necessary.
8. Don’t be over-inquisitive about each other’s private lives.
9. Stand up for the co-worker in his/her absence.
In one of the studies, Monika Henderson, Michael Argyle and co-workers defined four categories of work relationships:
1. Social friends: “friends in the normal sense who are known through work and seen at social events outside the work setting”. Research shows that up to a quarter of friends are made through work.
2. Friends at work: “friends who interact together over work or socially at work, but who are not invited home and do not engage in joint leisure activities outside the work setting”.
3. Work-mates: “people at work seen simply through formal work contacts and with whom interactions are relatively superficial and task-oriented, and not characterised by either liking or dislike”
4. Conflict relations: “work colleagues who are actively disliked”
Argyle and Co. have come up with a special list of endorsed “rules for people we can’t get on with”. The main ones are:
1. Respect each other’s privacy.
2. Strive to be fair in relations with one another.
3. Don’t discuss what is said in confidence.
4. Don’t feel free to take up as much of the other’s time as one desires.
5. Don’t denigrate the other behind their back.
6. Don’t ignore the other person.
7. Repay debts, favours or compliments no matter how small.
8. Look the other person in the eye during conversation.
9. Don’t display hypocritical liking.
Argyle and Henderson also suggest: “Another approach to resolving interpersonal conflicts is increasing the amount of communication between those involved, so that each side comes to understand and to trust the other more. Suspicion and hostility are increased by ignorance of what the other is up to.”
III. Comprehension check.
1. Which of the social skills mentioned in the text and listed below apply to:
1. relationships in general
2. relationships in the workplace
3. relationships with working colleagues you don’t like very much
Arespect for personal privacy G respect for confidentiality
Bability to be fairHuse of first names
Cmaintenance of eye contact while talkingIrecognition of the other person
Davoidance of public criticism
Erepayment of debts, favours, etc.
Fwillingness to ask for and be asked for help